Ratzendag is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciful crow.

Ratzendag created the Large Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratzendag, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ratzendag, she will turn you into a rock.

Ratzendag's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Ratzendag's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. You must pray to Ratzendag five times a day.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Always treat doves with great respect.

5. Fast once a month.