Kimsadham is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, capable pig.

Kimsadham created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimsadham, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kimsadham, he will turn you into a duck.

Kimsadham's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Kimsadham's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always look after injured ants.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Kimsadham in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never mention manatees.