Yatcemort is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, quiet swallow.

Yatcemort created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Yatcemort, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yatcemort, he will make you grow a tail.

Yatcemort's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Yatcemort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yatcemort.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.