Tifbogsog is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, strong gerbil.

Tifbogsog created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Tifbogsog, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tifbogsog, she will turn you into a slug.

Tifbogsog's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tifbogsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near tortoises while wearing green tights and balancing five carbon spheres on your feet.

2. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Tifbogsog on top of important buildings.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Always help sick monkeys.