Jinquilldan is a god.

He takes the form of a small, smart pigeon.

Jinquilldan created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinquilldan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jinquilldan, he will torture you forever.

Jinquilldan's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Jinquilldan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat onions.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jinquilldan.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not kill turtles.

5. Never eat bark.