Yarbep Bessfemort is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, temperamental zebra.

Yarbep Bessfemort created tapeworms nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarbep Bessfemort, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarbep Bessfemort, she will think nothing of it.

Yarbep Bessfemort's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Yarbep Bessfemort's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Turtles are not to be trusted.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. You must never eat spinach.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.