Gunbodshav is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, compassionate faun.

Gunbodshav created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunbodshav, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gunbodshav, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Gunbodshav's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gunbodshav's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine turtles approach from the south.

2. Never feed peas to eagles while wearing stockings.

3. Never talk about dark energy near mites while wearing turquoise scarves.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Always obey Gunbodshav's priests.