Fettailyarl is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome gerbil.

Fettailyarl created gold twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fettailyarl, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fettailyarl, she will turn you into a dog.

Fettailyarl's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Fettailyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never feed cucumbers to tapirs while wearing brown tights.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. You must pray to Fettailyarl eight times a day.

5. Do not bounce in public.