Bessnulcab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, able lobster.

Bessnulcab created parasitic wasps nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessnulcab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bessnulcab, he will send you a sign.

Bessnulcab's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bessnulcab's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

5. Always look after injured otters.