Artgomzansakkar is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, vain centipede.

Artgomzansakkar created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Artgomzansakkar, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Artgomzansakkar, he will turn you into a snail.

Artgomzansakkar's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Artgomzansakkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Artgomzansakkar loves voles, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about cell theory.