Jigyartcussbut Pagnarspag is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonourable naga.

Jigyartcussbut Pagnarspag created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jigyartcussbut Pagnarspag, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Jigyartcussbut Pagnarspag, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jigyartcussbut Pagnarspag's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Jigyartcussbut Pagnarspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near aardvarks while wearing indigo ear rings and balancing six copper spheres on your legs.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

4. Always help snails.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.