Gutstikarfnuttsancapleggof is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, contented lizard.

Gutstikarfnuttsancapleggof created the Sol system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutstikarfnuttsancapleggof, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gutstikarfnuttsancapleggof, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gutstikarfnuttsancapleggof's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Gutstikarfnuttsancapleggof's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Gutstikarfnuttsancapleggof must be the most important thing in your life.