Bidlitgen is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, clever tapir.

Bidlitgen created the planet Saturn nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidlitgen, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bidlitgen, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bidlitgen's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bidlitgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Bidlitgen loves otters, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

5. Never think ill of sick dolphins.