Listbetlan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, happy guinea pig.

Listbetlan created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Listbetlan, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Listbetlan, it will think nothing of it.

Listbetlan's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Listbetlan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Listbetlan first in all things.

2. Never feed aubergines to manatees while wearing violet skirts.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Do not take Listbetlan's name in vain.

5. Never eat green fruit.