Stafkarcam is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, capable armadillo.

Stafkarcam created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafkarcam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Stafkarcam, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Stafkarcam's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Stafkarcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Never think about special relativity near rats while wearing fawn kilts and balancing three lead spheres on your head.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Hide if eight swans approach from the east.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.