Tagnutcit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, irritating gerbil.

Tagnutcit created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagnutcit, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tagnutcit, he will boil you in a big pot.

Tagnutcit's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Tagnutcit's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tagnutcit.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never wear pink stockings.

4. Never feed pineapples to sharks while wearing kilts.

5. Never write about enzymes.