Fittaggam is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, prudent human.

Fittaggam created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fittaggam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fittaggam, she will laugh at you.

Fittaggam's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Fittaggam's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

2. Never sprint in the presence of monkeys.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fittaggam.