Vidflancap Yarpcutdid is a god.

She takes the form of a small, egotistical slug.

Vidflancap Yarpcutdid created dark energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vidflancap Yarpcutdid, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vidflancap Yarpcutdid, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vidflancap Yarpcutdid's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Vidflancap Yarpcutdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Never wear hats.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never feed lots of strawberries to dolphins while wearing black trousers.