Flowbafhug is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, moody grasshopper.

Flowbafhug created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowbafhug, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flowbafhug, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Flowbafhug's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Flowbafhug's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Flowbafhug on top of all buildings.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.