Tafzanvan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, prudent bee.

Tafzanvan created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafzanvan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tafzanvan, she will not care at all.

Tafzanvan's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Tafzanvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never skip in the presence of horses.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

4. Always look after injured aardvarks.

5. Never bounce near monkeys.