Lapnelvil is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unfair squirrel.

Lapnelvil created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Lapnelvil, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lapnelvil, he will turn you into a worm.

Lapnelvil's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Lapnelvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tapirs.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Never feed lots of rice to whales while wearing orange skirts.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never wear blue hats.