Dimwipbif is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, duplicitous jaguar.

Dimwipbif created Mount Everest eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dimwipbif, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dimwipbif, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Dimwipbif's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Dimwipbif's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry geese.

2. Never talk about dark matter near dolphins while wearing blue rings and balancing three titanium spheres on your head.

3. Run away from red tapirs, for they are unholy.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Dimwipbif in the centre of the settlement.

5. Run away if five mice approach from the south.