Timjiging is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witless wren.

Timjiging created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timjiging, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Timjiging, he will destroy your home planet.

Timjiging's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Timjiging's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Timjiging.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never talk about dark matter near frogs while wearing gray hats and balancing six copper spheres on your arms.