Rulquafpaspan Davwipdan is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fussy dugong.

Rulquafpaspan Davwipdan created the planet Mars four billion years ago.

If you believe in Rulquafpaspan Davwipdan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Rulquafpaspan Davwipdan, he will turn you into a worm.

Rulquafpaspan Davwipdan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Rulquafpaspan Davwipdan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rulquafpaspan Davwipdan.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Rulquafpaspan Davwipdan.

5. Mites are not to be trusted.