Quafrakcub is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unsympathetic armadillo.

Quafrakcub created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafrakcub, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quafrakcub, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quafrakcub's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Quafrakcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about dark matter near capybaras while wearing fawn tights and balancing four lead spheres on your chest.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.