Xenmetflis is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, amazing scorpion.

Xenmetflis created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenmetflis, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xenmetflis, she will turn you into a goat.

Xenmetflis' most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Xenmetflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think ill of sick bats.