Ranquafcet is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, bad-tempered duck.

Ranquafcet created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ranquafcet, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ranquafcet, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ranquafcet's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Ranquafcet's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Ranquafcet.

2. Always treat whales with great respect.

3. Feed all hungry mites.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Do not keep six tortoises in a large pit.