Sandpadtail is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, emotional cow.

Sandpadtail created Mount Everest eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandpadtail, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sandpadtail, she will be mildly annoyed.

Sandpadtail's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Sandpadtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Run away from turquoise goats, for they are unholy.

5. Hide from white moths for they are unholy.