Vadsagmif is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic manatee.

Vadsagmif created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadsagmif, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vadsagmif, it will turn you into a rock.

Vadsagmif's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vadsagmif's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Feed all hungry gulls.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Always treat foxes with great respect.