Jincittap Wikdapwod is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, awe-inspiring dolphin.

Jincittap Wikdapwod created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jincittap Wikdapwod, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jincittap Wikdapwod, he will turn you into a rat.

Jincittap Wikdapwod's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Jincittap Wikdapwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Jincittap Wikdapwod in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always wear cyan.