Pagbarnflab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unfair human.

Pagbarnflab created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagbarnflab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pagbarnflab, it will send minions to preach to you.

Pagbarnflab's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Pagbarnflab's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not keep seven cats in a large pit.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always stare at clouds.