Ladmutjopven is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent jaguar.

Ladmutjopven created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladmutjopven, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ladmutjopven, she will come to you in dreams.

Ladmutjopven's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Ladmutjopven's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are not to be trusted.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Ladmutjopven.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.