Rowlikbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, selfish whale.

Rowlikbiss created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowlikbiss, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rowlikbiss, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Rowlikbiss' most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Rowlikbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near tapirs.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Hide if seven bats approach from the south.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Learn six new languages a year.