Fombonkgof is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, staggering monkey.

Fombonkgof created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fombonkgof, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fombonkgof, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fombonkgof's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fombonkgof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair brown.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never talk about dark matter near tapirs while wearing yellow boots and balancing nine silver spheres on your hands.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.