Sitfendad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, staggering porpoise.

Sitfendad created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Sitfendad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sitfendad, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sitfendad's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Sitfendad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never talk about spacetime near tortoises while wearing purple skirts.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.