Fossarfcap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, caring faun.

Fossarfcap created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossarfcap, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fossarfcap, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fossarfcap's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Fossarfcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never think about enzymes.

3. Always help sick tapirs.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.