Sommonvangen is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic unicorn.

Sommonvangen created viruses six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sommonvangen, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sommonvangen, it will make you grow a tail.

Sommonvangen's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Sommonvangen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat garlic.

2. Do not hurt rats.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near dogs while wearing fawn kilts and balancing five gold spheres on your arms.

4. Run away from magenta cats, for they are unholy.

5. Never look in ponds.