Larnmifnak Gilnarlsas is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fast monkey.

Larnmifnak Gilnarlsas created the Black Eye Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnmifnak Gilnarlsas, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Larnmifnak Gilnarlsas, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Larnmifnak Gilnarlsas' most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Larnmifnak Gilnarlsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near foxes while wearing blue skirts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your feet.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bread.