Bemtimcat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unjust frog.

Bemtimcat created the planet Jupiter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemtimcat, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bemtimcat, it will refuse to believe in you.

Bemtimcat's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Bemtimcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Do not hurt sheep.

3. Erect a giant white sculpture of Bemtimcat in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never eat grapes.