Kabbapmap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish bat.

Kabbapmap created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabbapmap, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kabbapmap, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Kabbapmap's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Kabbapmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt grasshopers.

2. Kabbapmap loves otters, so they must be honoured.

3. Always help shrews.

4. Never wear turquoise corsets.

5. Never pour water over plants.