Fompitzed Didsandzig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud bear.

Fompitzed Didsandzig created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fompitzed Didsandzig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fompitzed Didsandzig, he will turn you into a sheep.

Fompitzed Didsandzig's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Fompitzed Didsandzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Pray towards the north.