Sandapmet is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, temperamental monkey.

Sandapmet created Asia two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandapmet, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sandapmet, she will turn you into a dog.

Sandapmet's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Sandapmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics.

2. You must pray to Sandapmet four times a day.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Sandapmet loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.