Pagquartdun is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, prudent whale.

Pagquartdun created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pagquartdun, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pagquartdun, it will refuse to believe in you.

Pagquartdun's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Pagquartdun's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always obey Pagquartdun's priests.

4. Do not kill swans.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.