Gummipwab Timflabstip is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, selfish octopus.

Gummipwab Timflabstip created snails six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gummipwab Timflabstip, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gummipwab Timflabstip, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gummipwab Timflabstip's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Gummipwab Timflabstip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not take Gummipwab Timflabstip's name in vain.

5. Never wear yellow trousers.