Tik is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, charitable meerkat.

Tik created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tik, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tik, he will remove you from existence.

Tik's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never hurt dogs.

4. Retreat if six eagles approach from the west.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.