Danafget Getbep is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy squid.

Danafget Getbep created viruses three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Danafget Getbep, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Danafget Getbep, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Danafget Getbep's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Danafget Getbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of bats.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never feed limes to nematodes while wearing red tights.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near dogs while wearing gray corsets and balancing four silicon spheres on your head.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.