Vogcapbam is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, slow mole.

Vogcapbam created snails three million years ago.

If you believe in Vogcapbam, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vogcapbam, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Vogcapbam's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Vogcapbam's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Vogcapbam.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. You must never eat tomatoes.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never jump near voles.