Tencissmat is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful walrus.

Tencissmat created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tencissmat, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tencissmat, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tencissmat's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Tencissmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Erect four carbon sculptures of Tencissmat on top of important buildings.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Retreat if seven eagles approach from the east.