Bonklaplap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, passionate penguin.

Bonklaplap created Asia two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonklaplap, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bonklaplap, it will turn you into a mole.

Bonklaplap's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Bonklaplap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never talk about ducks.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.