Kanfebgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthoughtful goose.

Kanfebgeb created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanfebgeb, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kanfebgeb, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kanfebgeb's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Kanfebgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about birds.

2. Do not speak about cucumbers.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.